»Great joke---A Texan Moves North«
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 A Texan Moves North Jan. 10 - It's 5:00 p.m. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful. Jan. 11 - We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came along and accidently covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again. Jan. 12 - It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled the driveway a again. Shortly afterwards the snow plow came by and pulled his trick again. Now much of the snow is brownish-gray. Jan. 13 - It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected. Jan. 14 - Still cold as hell. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4 X 4 in order to get her to work. Slid into the guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit again last night. Both vehicles are covered with salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today. Jan. 15 - It's 2 fucking degrees outside. More fucking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the fucking house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. The car slid off the road on the way to the emergency room and was totaled. Jan. 16 - Goddamn mother fuckin' white shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fuckin' mailbox. If I ever catch that son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the corner and waits until I shovel the driveway. Power is still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in. Jan. 17 - Six goddamn more inches of fuckin' snow and sleet and ice and no telling what other kind of white shit fell last night. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice axe, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow-blind. I can't feel my fuckin' toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More white shit is predicted. Wind chill is 22 fuckin' degrees below mother fuckin' zero. I'm movin' my fuckin' ass back to Texas. posted by The ONEder Man |
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| in-my-opinion.orgFun and Weirdness and GamingJokes, Fun, Riddles, Shocking, NonsenseGreat joke---A Texan Moves North |
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but i still think it's funny damnit posted by The ONEder Man |
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 I have this same joke, but translated to spanish and starring a Puertorican. It's a good joke, but I guess it's high-class humor. Not everyone gets it.  posted by Echelon |
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 i shall resurrect this joke in time for our horrible texas winter that is about to occur... i think it was 89 F today? i don't miss the snow at all 
maybe allone will appriciate this posted by The ONEder Man |
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 yeah, its pretty funny... in my entire life i have seen snow maybe 3 or 4 times here in texas...only once was it enough to stick before it was melted away, i even made a snowman! he was about 6 inches tall! the only time i have ever really seen snow was in ohio. i thought it was a blizzard and then got laughed at. it was really pretty until i busted my butt on a patch of ice...yeah, i had no idea it was there, im not really used to needing to look out for it. its a good thing i wasnt driving while there that time! posted by allone |
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