»Pickup Lines«
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 You must be an astronaut, because your ass is out of this world. Your dad must have been a baker, because you have a nice set of buns. I hope you know CPR because you took my breath away. If I could arrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good. Your name must be Visa, because you're everwhere I wanna be. You ask somebody can you borrow a quarter. They will probably be say why or no or okay. If they say no or okay then the joke fails. But if they say why, you say "Because my father told me to call him when I fell in love." I may not be the best looking guy here, but I am the only one talking to you. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock. You be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, I'll do it your way right away. I got the f,c,and the k now all I need is you(u). Check your pockets. (At this point the other person usually says "Why?") Because I think you stole my heart. I like every bone in your body especially mine. The word for today is "legs". Lets go back to my place and spread the word. Wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex?(at this point the other person will usually say "NO!" if they say yes then good for you) Then say "What? You don't like pizza?" Can you help me? ( If the other person says I'm busy or I can't, you have no chance on earth with hooking up with them in the first place, but if they are friendly the might say yes or what). After they say sure or whatever they say, you say "You broke my heart and now the pieces are all over the floor." That's a nice shirt( or dress, skirt, pants, etc.) Can I talk you out of it. If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? You can ask someone "Do you have a little (put whatever race u r here) in you?" (You can say African, Irish, or German or whatever you want). Then you could say, "Would you ever want to?" Ask someone how are they doing today. Normal response is fine. If they say fine continue on, if not it fails. Then say "I know you are, but I asked how you were doing." Ask someone "Is there a mirror in your pocket?" They will probably say "No, why?" Then you say "Because I see myself in your pants. Is your dad a thief. The other person will probably say no. Then how can he steal the twinklie from the stars and put them in your eyes. Lick your finger and put it on your shirt. Lick your finger and again and wipe on someone else's shirt. Then say "Lets get out of these wet clothes." Ask someone,"Can you give me directions?" They will say "Where to?" normally or again if you have no chance of hooking up with them they will say no or something. Then you say ,"To your heart." Ask someone "Did it hurt?" They'll say did what hurt or what are you talking about. Then you say "When you fell from the stars..." I lost my phone number can I have yours? Is that a mentos in your pocket or are you happy to see me? (okay its kinda like the "pencil in your pocket" but it is updated for today's working man. If you really wanna make somebody feel good you could say hammer or turtle or a small automobile but I think that is a little to much.) Those clothes look good on you, but they would look better on my bedroom floor. Boy are you horny or what? I am rich, good looking, and have a libido the size of Texas-- so I'll probably dump you after a night or two but you won't care. Having sex with me is a tax deductible charity. Did someone turn a light on? Oh it was just your smile. Have I introduced you to my friend, Mr. Harry Penis? posted by Echelon |
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| in-my-opinion.orgFun and Weirdness and GamingJokes, Fun, Riddles, Shocking, NonsensePickup Lines |
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 because mostly they are referring to sex too directly and most girls won't appreciate it if you start like that even if they think along the same lines, and others are a bit too flattering and sound stupid (sorry) but I like a couple: Quote: I may not be the best looking guy here, but I am the only one talking to you. Which actually sounds a bit offensive if you think about it. Sounds as if you are so bad that he was the only one who pitied you and talked to you... thank you very much! This one is however nice  Quote: I lost my phone number can I have yours? posted by mymla |
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 Can you believe that the following are pick-up lines?
posted by knn |
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PS. Am I a disgrace to my sex? I find those funny.. I can also throw in some "lines that you can get slapped for" but uh I'd be offtopic. posted by ryder |
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ryder: If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me? Incidentally there's a song by The Bellamy Brothers.. "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me.. If I swore you were an angel would you treat me like the devil tonight.." Zero might know this one.. 
posted by ryder |
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 Song titles do make good chat up lines...'Every where you go you always take the weather with you' or 'Am horney, horney horney' posted by Deeindamatrix |
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 ryder: My name is Kupov, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me. ryder: Hi, my name's Kupov. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight! ryder: Hi, my name is Kupov, how do you like me so far?  ...did you use the (you) tags? how do you know when someone uses the you tags? I am so confused...  ryders making fun of me...  well two can play at this game
*edit* Tags were used...now I cant get revenge *edit* posted by Kupov |
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 Kupov: did you use the (you) tags? how do you know when someone uses the you tags? Click the Quote button to analyze the post posted by knn |
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 ryder: True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place this one was actually funny, and i hadn't heard it before, good job 
posted by The ONEder Man |
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 The ONEder Man: i hadn't heard it before mmm yuvaarey beezy misster.. 
I've seen a few retarded ones like
and
and
but I shouldn't post the more obvious ones since this is a free-access place.. go figure 
posted by ryder |
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 Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: So, wanna go back to my place ? Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine. Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Woman: It's in the phone book. Man: But I don't know your name. Woman: That's in the phone book too. Man: So what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: What sign were you born under? Woman: No Parking. Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not Enter Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I'd go through anything for you. Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there? "Haven't we met before?" "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic." "May I see you pretty soon?" "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?" Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? A: Yeah, but this time don't stop! Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here. A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I! "You look like a dream." Response: "Go back to sleep." How do you like your eggs in the morning? Unfertilized ! Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason. Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks! (although i have a feeling this last one would be MORE of a turn on for the guy so i don't suggest using it...) posted by gkiss |
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gkiss: Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop! brillient
posted by Deeindamatrix |
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not enough beer in the world...you'd need an exorcist to make that look pretty
sigh...good times posted by gkiss |
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The time now is 1 December 2008, 19:04 php B.B. |