»GirlFriend (withOut you) at a disco«

hungarian kid:

I guess you've got to establish the trust first

Yeah, but my ex did establish the trust in my mind by telling me: i can trust him 100% b/c he'll never ever cheat on me, but that appearently didn't work.
Therefore i think if you're a little bit jealous, that makes you also more curious about your partner & that makes you find out a little bit more info about him/her, which ultimately can save you from a heartbreak. B/c if you find out sooner he/she's an asshole, you can move on easier to another person.

posted by a

"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger" Friedrich Nietzsche

in-my-opinion.org -> Misc -> Gosh, you are annoying! -> GirlFriend (withOut you) at a disco

B/c if you find out sooner he/she's an asshole, you can move on easier to another person.

Ha yeah, but my definition of establishing trust is a strong one, as I don't trust anyone. White laugh

posted by hungarian kid

I think a certain level of jealousy is necessary in a relationship.

I agree, but possibly not for the same reason as you. Sometimes one partner in a relationship *wants* the other to express a bit of jealousy. If your girlfriend is dancing with other guys, it's possible she wants you to get a little flustered.

However...

X-ecutioner:

so that's why i don't want her having fun with someone else

X-ecutioner:

i don't want her to 'look'at someone else

this doesn't sound like a healthy level of jealousy. You're saying that you don't look at other girls now? And that you don't have fun with anyone other than your girlfriend? That's a bit obsessive, if it's true. And if not, then that's unfair to her.

posted by Tiefling

skinrider.blogspot.com

Disturbing

As a woman, there are many things in your post that I find disturbing.

X-ecutioner :

I want a verry strong relationship with my g-friends so that's why i don't want her having fun with someone else ,becouse ..like i said there are many 'jerks' out there who can still her from u

This entire statement is possesive. In a relationship you do not "own" the other person. How can a 'jerk' steal her from you? If she decides she likes this other bloke better and goes with him instead, it is her perogative, but she most definately was not stolen. One may only steal objects, not people. Also, strong relationships are not built by isolating the other person to exclusively have fun with you. Strong relationships are built on communication.

X-ecutioner :

i don't want her to 'look'at someone else.

This is a completely unrealistic expectation. People look at eachother. Projecting unrealistic expectaions onto your significant other is a sure fire way to make both of you miserable, and your relationship unhealthy.

X-ecutioner :

actualy jelous means that u care much about a person(in this case is: my girl)

Um no, jealousy actually means you are insecure about yourself.

X-ecutioner :

too all: I ADMIT that i'm too jelous but this is how this world created me,that's why i'm too atentive..)

.

People can change things they do not like about themselves. If your jealousy is interfering with your life and relationships, perhaps you should think about trying to do things differently.

posted by Laraimaem

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