»GirlFriend (withOut you) at a disco«
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 Whatever you do,plz,don't stop reading. I just hate and get extremly jelous when my girl goes some where without me! Koz i always think that she looks at other boys/men or EVEN KISSING WITH SOME ONE ELSE. Even though i know my girl is not like that, i can't fight with thise thoughts(they realy 'fu*k me'). If she is not dancing with somebody,she is dancing with herself(and her g-friends)...but there is always a **** JERK who admires her body and so on,thus she is dancing for him...even though she doesnt even realisez this! OH God ,how i hate thise situations (that i just wrote). Finall: i have just broke up with my girl(that's why i'm writing) koz i cant live with that jelousy(i feel like jumping from a plane without a parasute).but i'm steel thinking: 1.she is not guilty in anything+ thise are just my feelings,who knows what really happened... (another thinking) BUT she came home at 24:00 and all this time i felt rejected while she was there dancing...bla,bla,bla...DAMN this is so paynful,i cant bare it...thus i brokeup. ______________ now i want to know from you: should i speak to her and say all this(and maybe she will not do this anymore) or should i leave her suffering(like i know she is) for some time ...like i did when i felt 'fu*cked-up'...plz say your opinions. I'll be thankful posted by X-ecutioner |
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| in-my-opinion.orgMiscGosh, you are annoying!GirlFriend (withOut you) at a disco |
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 ...You really need to study some relaxation techniques and learn to trust your girl. You also should be open and honest. If you have these strong jealous tendencies, then you should have told her. If she is out dancing and partying w/o you frequently, then perhaps something was wrong to begin with. Why weren't you out dancing and partying w/ her? If this girl is attractive, then men (and women, sexually and nonsexually) will be looking at her body. This is just a basic social/human precept today. Perhaps some relaxation/calming techniques might help to curb your anger/jealously. posted by volonteshiva |
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 Do you worry when you are still there? If yes, then why worry any more when you aren't there. I don't think you need to worry about her safety when you aren't there since her friends will be with her (and if she STILL needs to worry then she shouldn't go there anyway). You've already said that you do not expect her to go off with someone else because you know you can trust her. It's just an irrational fear, right? If no, then why not? You have just as much reason to worry about people perving over your girlfriend as you do when you aren't there. And, more importantly, you have just as much reason to worry about her fancying other people around you. Cause surely that's the most worrying thing for you? It isn't that you are worried that she'll go off with someone, it's that you are worried that she'll 'want' to go off with someone else. Most ordinary people can empathise with your view here. Few people think that they are so attractive that their partner would never prefer to be with another man/woman. It is natural that you should worry about whether your girlfriend is staying true to you in her heart, especially when she is surrounded by people dancing. The thing that should put your mind at rest is if you come along to the disco with her every once in a while. It wouldn't even have to be regularly, just every once in a while. I don't know about you, but I love watching my girlfriend dance at a club; being there to see that it is me she wants to dance for, more than anyone else. That way, when she is at the disco without you, you can just remember how she acted the last time you were there. How, even when surrounded by all those other people, she chose to focus her attention on you.  posted by fatpie42 |
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 fatpie42: Do you worry when you are still there?
If yes, then why worry any more when you aren't there. because if you are there when someone starts grinding on your lady friend you can do something about it and/or she might not be as willing to dance with others if she knows you will see her jealousy is sometimes a power trip for the person being jealous to see if the other person can be controlled to do what they would not normally do, and when they give in to it (in this instance, dancing) then the jealous party will move on to the next thing that makes them jealous until you are too jealous to let them leave the house. Now to remedy this situation, i do not know, maybe some psychologist will see this and help 
the other reason beind it could be you've seen this jealous act played out before, possibly your parents and you are fallowing in whomevers foot steps posted by The ONEder Man |
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Er... the point of my post was that she does not suddenly become a different person the moment her boyfriend goes away. If she wants to 'get jiggy' with other blokes she is just as likely to want it whether you are there or not. X-ecutioner says that he KNOWS that his girlfriend cares about him and that he is just being irrational. I am explaining that his girlfriends feelings do not suddenly change the moment he leaves the room. He needs to see his girlfriend's actions in a club so he knows basically what to expect her to get up to - so he can stop worrying unecessarily. Obviously there are some evil manipulative bitches out there, but we are presuming that this is not one them. If she suddenly decides to go off with another bloke in this case, it will not be because she was left alone in a club. It will be because that was where the relationship was heading. From what X-ecutioner has said, I think he's got a while before he need worry about the relationship going stale. (I may be wrong) posted by fatpie42 |
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 Dude, you really need to loosen up and get yourself a life!  posted by Echelon |
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 Quote: plz i stopped reading here...because people who use those kind of abbreviations don't deserve our help posted by the anomaly |
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 You need to talk to her, man. If you have these feelings, you have to explain why and how to her...you owe her that. Relationships are predicated on trust. The only way to gain that trust is through communication and just getting to know you're girl inside and out. I'm not being rude, but if you REALLY knew you're girl, you wouldn't be jelous. If you can't trust her, then you need to tell her that. Hopefully, during the conversation you and her will become closer and start down the path towards trust...if not... posted by GP |
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to volonteshiva: i don't need no relaxation techniques.I just care a lot about my grirl(koz i want her to be my and that is it).I want a verry strong relationship with my g-friends so that's why i don't want her having fun with someone else ,becouse ..like i said there are many 'jerks' out there who can still her from u(i don't know about ur country but i'm speaking about my).BTW: she was far to away from me so that i could join her at the disco. to fatpie42: i know her that she is in good hands,but as i said to volonteshiva,i don't want her to 'look'at someone else. to the anomaly:i understand your position,but still, i dislike ppl with such 'loigic'..like you. (too all: I ADMIT that i'm too jelous but this is how this world created me,that's why i'm too atentive..) thx to the oneder man: actualy jelous means that u care much about a person(in this case is: my girl) For my final word: i have spoken to my girl the other day and told her all i 'fear'.She aprishieted that much and was happy that i care so much about her.And in generaly every thing is back to normal. Thx anyways for your opinions p.s:i'm not that stupid,it's just that i...was not feeling good to make my own opinion at that moment, so i wanted to know how other guys would do,thx. posted by X-ecutioner |
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Quote: to the anomaly:i understand your position,but still, i dislike ppl with such 'loigic'..like you. good for you mate... as for your problem...try to think of it in a different light...guys who eye up your girlfriend are jelous of you...cause you are her boyfriend and they are not...trust me...i used to be of the same mind set as you...i would get pretty annoyed when guys would chat up my girl when we were out...it got me into a few fist fights with the guys and a few verbal fights with her now i can watch her go to the bar...watch a guy go up to her and try his luck and then just look at him smugly when she comes back over to me and puts her arms around me...with him looking on with the big green eyes posted by the anomaly |
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 the anomaly: Quote: to the anomaly:i understand your position,but still, i dislike ppl with such 'loigic'..like you. good for you mate... as for your problem...try to think of it in a different light...guys who eye up your girlfriend are jelous of you...cause you are her boyfriend and they are not...trust me...i used to be of the same mind set as you...i would get pretty annoyed when guys would chat up my girl when we were out...it got me into a few fist fights with the guys and a few verbal fights with her now i can watch her go to the bar...watch a guy go up to her and try his luck and then just look at him smugly when she comes back over to me and puts her arms around me...with him looking on with the big green eyes i like Your story,mate  ...smthing tells me that i missunderstud when u said "because people who use those kind of abbreviations don't deserve our help "...eem,what have u wanted to say?that i don't deserve y0ur help..or vice versa?
posted by X-ecutioner |
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it was just a little dig... i just have a problem with internet and text message abbreviations...nothing gets me more annoyed than people sending me emails that are full of "lol" and all that shit no offence was meant...the guys on here will atest to the fact that i just like to wind up the new guys...even though im never here that much myself hope you sort your problems out...if she is worth it then you will change even if you think you cant posted by the anomaly |
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everything is ok now..but ther's 1 thing i fear most is that i am gonna get too 'attached' to her(and i think that i am allready),coz girls like her are rare  . I just can't imagine the day that will separate as from each other.I have my plans:go to england and work there;her plans:go to germany and live there with her brother= damn this is going to be hard.
But that's life,i'm not gonna make a big problem of it...(but still :sobing: ...in me) posted by X-ecutioner |
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 I think a certain level of jealousy is necessary in a relationship. When i was younger i had this b.friend whom i really loved, i walked into a bar one day & there's he dirty dancing with a girl, so i gave him a look & ran out of the bar, he came after me & said the shitty talk that i can trust him 100% b/c he'd never ever cheat on me. So there's a party one day on a Sunday night where he wanted to go alone & i had to work the next day anyway, & thinking of what he said about: i can trust him 100%, i thought it was ok for him to go without me. Which turned out later as a bad idea b/c guess what: he kissed with another girl & he even left me for her a week later  posted by a |
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 a: Which turned out later as a bad idea b/c guess what: he kissed with another girl & he even left me for her a week later Lol that's the worst? Cheating here always means instant sex. Relationships here are crazy, I more or less just try not to care about people or things that much anymore unless I think I can trust them. I guess you've got to establish the trust first, and then if she does cheat you, move on. It happens so often in relationships that it's just one of those things that you may have to unfortunately learn to deal with. If you never have to, you're a lucky bastard. posted by hungarian kid |
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The time now is 11 February 2012, 20:54 php B.B. |