In-My-Opinion.org

»Reading On the Toilet«






Okay this may gross some of you out or offend some of you but I have to say it:

Reading while sitting on the toilet is a really bad habit! yuck

I have friends who will come over and take my books in there with them - and these things are like my children I love them so - and read while doing you know what. So every time I pick up that book I have to imagine them holding it in one hand while they wipe their ass with the other, which is not fun. What is even grosser is when I go over to my friends' houses and they have a rack of magazines next to the toilet!
That is just disgusting. Why do they have to make an EXPERIENCE out of taking a dump? I just go in there like a soldier and get the job done. It's not supposed to be like an educational experience when you defecate. It's a bodily function, not a busride!

Also I have heard that reading while on the toilet makes you sit on the toilet longer, and this causes hemorrhoids.


This has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood cranky old man.


posted by holy_of_holies
  

in-my-opinion.org -> Misc -> Gosh, you are annoying! -> Reading On the Toilet



holy_of_holies:
It's not supposed to be like an educational experience when you defecate.

Dear ruler of the world, if we cannot read while defecating, can we read while breathing? BOTH are body functions.
holy_of_holies:
Also I have heard that reading while on the toilet makes you sit on the toilet longer, and this causes hemorrhoids.

This is a myth pushed by the "hemmorhoid mafia" (= the ones who sell you ointments), because hemmoroids are caused by
• a low-fibre diet
• to little firmness of your tissues (caused also by a wrong diet)
• failure to use a bidet (or equivalent means)


With the same right (= the same right to state nonsense) I could claim that reading on the toilet lowers the risk of hemmorhoids because it trains your intestine muscles.


posted by knn


knn:
With the same right (= the same right to state nonsense) I could claim that reading on the toilet lowers the risk of hemmorhoids because it trains your intestine muscles.

I was just telling you what I heard; that was parenthetical anyway..


posted by holy_of_holies
  



knn:
Dear ruler of the world, if we cannot read while defecating, can we read while breathing? BOTH are body functions.

True Hmm, let me think, but breathing does not involve risking unhygienic hands.

I suppose holy's contention is just about the fact that you're using the same hands to handle the books.. Last breath

Cmoon don't make like an appointment to go sit there and 'read in peace' for goodness' sake.. the only reason people do that is because they think they can get an uninterrupted bit of time there as opposed to elsewhere whence there may be chances of pests.

Then again, not everyone can go to a remote mountaintop to catch some alone-time.


posted by ryder
  All your base are belong to us




ryder:
True Hmm, let me think, but breathing does not involve risking unhygienic hands.

?...yes it does...when you breathe you don't?...weird.
ryder:
Then again, not everyone can go to a remote mountaintop to catch some alone-time.

I am pretty sure holy's freinds live allone and this should be their keith time that they are foolishly squandering on the toilet..reading this, this...smut *throws down marie claire*


posted by Kupov
  



Kupov:
I am pretty sure holy's freinds live allone and this should be their keith time that they are foolishly squandering on the toilet..reading this, this...smut *throws down marie claire*

Wow...I have no idea what you just said..."Keith time?"I learned something new, I guess


posted by Marlbro
  



Kupov:
ryder:
True Hmm, let me think, but breathing does not involve risking unhygienic hands.

?...yes it does...when you breathe you don't?...weird.


Uhh when you breathe you mess your hands? I knew you weren't human Wink


posted by ryder
  



Marlbro:
Keith time?"

Just playing with holy_of_holies real name.. oh, he has only one by the way.


posted by ryder
  

Re: Reading On the Toilet



I find it disgusting, unhygienic, undignified and somewhat kinky. Your friends should have a bidet next to the bowl instead of a rack of magazines. Yuck!
When I first discovered that these people existed I immediately stopped reading library books.

posted by eddiebubble
  

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posted by hemroids
  

Yes, I agree! It is a bad habit.



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posted by waelm2010
  



I too have this "bad" habit.
As I like to debate with myself my own actions, I've considered this one too.
I would agree that toilet is usually associated with iffy hygiene and general twitching of the nose, but how unhygienic is reading on the toilet?
So I've done a complete scientific experiment: I went to the toilet (at the right time).
What I was going to focus on was not so much the reading itself (although I just started a really nice Lodge book), nor on the toilet as it would seem to be the case but on the allegedly unhygienic hands.
So, The Facts Were These:
-grabbed a book > hands in perfect hygiene state

-standing in front of the toilet, facing the wall opposite, grabbed my pants (and then bikinis) and pulled them down> meanwhile book rested on a shelf hanging opposite me> hands still in perfect state of hygiene

-seated my behind graciously while hands rested on my knees

-hands grabbed the book off the shelf> still perfect hygiene

-holding the book, I read about 4-5 pages (action takes place on a campus, where very intriguing characters define modern concepts and ideas on science, religion, death and other general topics while thinking naughty every now and then and at times the narrator barges in with his notes on architecture and landscape) > hands nowhere except the book, as the book at no time would it hold itself (which I've at times thought could be the reason a lot of people do not like books - perhaps this inconvenient book holding business is in fact at the root of people not reading on the toilet in the first place? - just a monologue)> meanwhile hands still in perfect hygiene.

A Few Pages Later
-I am not gonna say what I did meanwhile, that s perhaps a different topic, the important thing to know is hands were holding the book

-now , the moment of truth: hands will have to do the dirty business (cuz no one else would), but get this: in order to do that, the book must be placed on its shelf FIRSTLY whilst hands still clean and everything.

-afterwards, the matter of conducting one's self in a hygienic matter is a personal choice. And personally, I like rose soap.

And I don't want to sound like I'm condemning people of the opposite opinion, cuz I can see why they think reading is unhygienic on the toilet: they never tried (reading) (on the toilet).
Now, I got a book waiting...ta ta
LittleLion

Ps: of course, all this is just "in-my-opinion"

posted by LittleLion
  





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